Fight your battles while they are young. Or as the preacher said, “Chasten your son while there is hope…” Proverbs 19:18. That was the wording of the New King James. The Contemporary English Version says it this way: “Correct your children before it’s too late…”
Before it’s too late. Those are ominous words. If we are told to correct our children before it’s too late (or while there is hope), there must be a time coming that we can no longer correct our children. All hope will be gone. When does that happen? How much time do I have to correct my child?
Many years ago, when I was a young mom, I heard some advice that has always stuck with me. The advice was that your child is going to rebel so see to it they rebel younger instead of older. It is much easier to deal with a rebelling 2 year old than a rebelling 12 year old.
It is hard work but when the 2 year old disobeys, that is the time to correct him. It can be kind of cute when we see a little rebellion in the way she tosses her head or the way he cuts his eyes at you or the way she emphatically says “NO”. It is tempting to laugh it off and give him his way or forget the request we made. DON’T DO IT! Now is the time to correct her. It’s not too late…yet.
When that same cute little firecracker or diva turns 12, 13, 14 that same behavior will be anything but cute. If we haven’t taken on the challenge of correcting our child when he’s young and easier to train, we will be in for a tumultous time when he’s a teenager.
The old saying “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” comes to mind here. Do you want to have a peaceful and calm home while you are raising your teens? Take care of the rebellion when they are 3 and 4 years old. Teach them to respect you and others. Teach them that immediate obedience is absolutely necessary. Teach them that children are to be seen and not heard. I know those are old fashioned sounding but they still work and will make everyone’s life so much easier. You will be able to converse with your teenager on a mature level. You will be able to trust your child to behave as he has been taught even when you aren’t around. What a blessed, happy household.
Will your preschooler always be happy with you? No! Will your preschooler immediately respond every time? No! Your job is to be consistent and persistent. Your child is going to learn a lesson regardless of what you do. If you are persistent and consistent in your interaction with him, he will learn that you expect a respectful, obedient, immediate response. If you are not consistent and persistent he will learn that he is in control. He will learn that you don’t mean what you say, that you are easily manipulated with a pouty look or an appropriately timed defiance.
If this behavior of yours continues, your sweet little one will eventually grow to be as big as you and have an attitude that cannot be molded. Your teenager will be out of control and you will wonder what you did wrong.
As with every other problem that we encounter, the answer lies in God’s word. I could give a list of verses that teach us how to raise our children but a list of verses are not the answer. The only way we can truly learn from God’s word is to study it for ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with seeking help from others but we must read God’s word for ourselves…often. We can do a topical study on how to raise children but until we have our hearts truly set on God, that study will only be a band-aid that helps for the moment.
Whenever we tackle a big job, it is easy to find ourselves focusing on the details or the small portion of the project we’re working with at the moment. It is important to look at the big picture. The same goes with raising our children. It’s easy to get so busy in the day to day activities that we forget the big picture. Every once in a while, picture who you want your child to become. Think about the goal. My goal for my children is that they become responsible adults who can take care of themselves and their families. Even more important is that my children grow up loving God and desiring to serve Him. Knowing what the goal is will help keep us on track in the everyday activities.
The preacher goes on to say, “…if you don’t punish them, you are destroying them.” Those are strong words. None of us want to destroy our children. Let us diligently train/correct/discipline/love our children to build them up and give them the opportunity to serve God as He desires. What greater gift can we give our children?
“Correct your children before it’s too late; if you don’t punish them, you are destroying them.” Proverbs 19:18 CEV
Great reminders. Thank you.